The new beginning
Hey y'all!
Today started out wonderfully! We had french toast casserole (literally so amazing) and then we worked on different ideas about community through out the morning, which really showed me that there are very vast differences in every community. People bring in their own perspectives, their own ideas, their own mentalities on how things should be. In my group we had to pick a word from a wall of words that were written and draw what it meant to us, then we passed it around the table and everyone would add something until it came back to me. It was a really moving and helpful message that was sent by something as simple as everyone drawing. Its a great way to reaffirm that community is not always easy, but when everyone contributes to each others ideas, you get a wonderful picture in the end and things aren't as bad as you think. This is something I think is easily forgotten. In community I can feel that, at times, we tend to be individual and not really trust others so easily with the idea we envision of community. There are days, even weeks, where I just want to disconnect from everything and everyone because things aren't going my way, or the way I see to be the most fit to have the community work efficiently. That is honestly okay to have things work whatever way works best for community. I don't know best, I may know somethings for sure, but I don't know how to make every type of person work perfectly in harmony or what will work best for everyone. I struggle with the fact that I can't "fix" everything and everyone. I know through my jesuit teachings in college that service is much more than saving the world and having all the answers.
I think 2 things can explain how I can better serve all my communities. One has happened here during the retreat and one happened during my time in El Salvador. First, lets talk about here. We talked about interdependence today. That was something I'd never really taken into much consideration in my community. When I think the idea of interdependency within a community I've been a part of, it was just an unspoken rule. For example, I knew on Urban Beats Crew (UBC, which was my hip hop dance team in college, I MISS Y'ALL) that I could count on everyone on that crew to help me out whenever I needed it. Kara and I are interdependent on one another, my family is interdependent on one another, so why wasn't I feeling this here? Well, Maria said "[you must] let go of independence, to be interdependent"& that right there, was my God moment of the day. Gods speaking to me through this and saying "be independent, but don't do it all because you have a community, lean on them like you lean on me." This is just something thats so difficult, learning to be independent but learning when to ask for help and not to do it all alone.
My second thing is from my CRISPAZ trip (if you don't know about CRISPAZ, please look it up) to El Salvador. It was from the Executive director Francisco, and I will never forget this, it was the most moving moment that I replay in my head all the time. He talked about how service is seen as a vertical line, where those at the top, give to those at the bottom and want to "fix" everything and "help." Now this is with the purest heart (usually) that people are doing this and its great to give! please keep giving, but what I took away from this second part of what he said (and I will get to my point of how this works in community, please stick with me!) is that "service is a horizontal line and the word service has acquired the meaning of those who have things and give them to the less fortunate. I want you all to think of it as accompaniment, where your time and you being present with everyone here is just as, if not more, valuable to the participants." Now, I paraphrased as best as I can recollect, but I think community itself is all about accompaniment with the people in your community. I cant solve every problem, I cant "fix" everyone, but by me being present, cognizant of what my community needs and working aside everyone, we can make this community be something amazing for sure.
Thank you for reading and trying on my CAP!
Until next time, Peace, Love and Blessings!
Today started out wonderfully! We had french toast casserole (literally so amazing) and then we worked on different ideas about community through out the morning, which really showed me that there are very vast differences in every community. People bring in their own perspectives, their own ideas, their own mentalities on how things should be. In my group we had to pick a word from a wall of words that were written and draw what it meant to us, then we passed it around the table and everyone would add something until it came back to me. It was a really moving and helpful message that was sent by something as simple as everyone drawing. Its a great way to reaffirm that community is not always easy, but when everyone contributes to each others ideas, you get a wonderful picture in the end and things aren't as bad as you think. This is something I think is easily forgotten. In community I can feel that, at times, we tend to be individual and not really trust others so easily with the idea we envision of community. There are days, even weeks, where I just want to disconnect from everything and everyone because things aren't going my way, or the way I see to be the most fit to have the community work efficiently. That is honestly okay to have things work whatever way works best for community. I don't know best, I may know somethings for sure, but I don't know how to make every type of person work perfectly in harmony or what will work best for everyone. I struggle with the fact that I can't "fix" everything and everyone. I know through my jesuit teachings in college that service is much more than saving the world and having all the answers.
I think 2 things can explain how I can better serve all my communities. One has happened here during the retreat and one happened during my time in El Salvador. First, lets talk about here. We talked about interdependence today. That was something I'd never really taken into much consideration in my community. When I think the idea of interdependency within a community I've been a part of, it was just an unspoken rule. For example, I knew on Urban Beats Crew (UBC, which was my hip hop dance team in college, I MISS Y'ALL) that I could count on everyone on that crew to help me out whenever I needed it. Kara and I are interdependent on one another, my family is interdependent on one another, so why wasn't I feeling this here? Well, Maria said "[you must] let go of independence, to be interdependent"& that right there, was my God moment of the day. Gods speaking to me through this and saying "be independent, but don't do it all because you have a community, lean on them like you lean on me." This is just something thats so difficult, learning to be independent but learning when to ask for help and not to do it all alone.
My second thing is from my CRISPAZ trip (if you don't know about CRISPAZ, please look it up) to El Salvador. It was from the Executive director Francisco, and I will never forget this, it was the most moving moment that I replay in my head all the time. He talked about how service is seen as a vertical line, where those at the top, give to those at the bottom and want to "fix" everything and "help." Now this is with the purest heart (usually) that people are doing this and its great to give! please keep giving, but what I took away from this second part of what he said (and I will get to my point of how this works in community, please stick with me!) is that "service is a horizontal line and the word service has acquired the meaning of those who have things and give them to the less fortunate. I want you all to think of it as accompaniment, where your time and you being present with everyone here is just as, if not more, valuable to the participants." Now, I paraphrased as best as I can recollect, but I think community itself is all about accompaniment with the people in your community. I cant solve every problem, I cant "fix" everyone, but by me being present, cognizant of what my community needs and working aside everyone, we can make this community be something amazing for sure.
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| This is a photo I took on a hike and it was just amazing being out in the woods, peace and quiet and I could feel God in this moment for sure |
Until next time, Peace, Love and Blessings!
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